Wow. It's been a so long since my last post. Once in a while I would visit and revisit this blog but I never thought of posting anything new. No one would probably read a long abandoned blog. Or would they? Well, recently someone read my blog and informed me he read it from my first post till the latest one. He said it brought back sweet memories. But then again, those are the exact same reason why i revisit my own blog. My bittersweet memories.
So who is this He who took his time to read my every line? He's the one I used to address as 'LoVeLy FiaNce' in this blog. He who was once that but is now my LoVeLy HuSbaNd. Yes. We got married. A few years back. Our honey baby girl eL Kiraz Sodiqin is turning 1 next month. And I have decided to update this blog today.
I've switched to a new career. A new place but same old activity. I still teach I'd probably teach for the rest of my life. I hope how I look at children will never change no matter how long I may be in this line. I practically brainwashed myself to keep a positive view towards children development and learning. Lol. And by now, it has become my belief. I believe that a child's environment affects his/her development. Hence, affect them in a positive way. It is sad when some teachers attacks at a child's weakness. I do not see how that will help the child.
Embrace this quote: 'When did we ever get the crazy idea that in order to make children do better, first you have to make them feel worse?' - Jane Nelson
Seriously, do you really think they will boost their own self-esteem after you pin them down with their weaknesses? A child's weaknesses is the fault of the adults around them. And that includes the teachers. Instead of highlighting a child's weaknesses, why not divert the focus, yours and theirs, towards their abilities and capabilities. Once you realise that they are capable of so many things, you will be driven to bring them up to the next level. At the same time, you are helping the child boost their confidence and self-esteem. pointing out a mistake is okay but do it purposefully. Beware not to gang up with another teacher when you are doing this. Make sure you rant about the behaviour not about the child's self. You may tell a child that hurting a friend physically or emotionally is not acceptable for instance but never tell a child not to be a bully. Focus on the behaviour not the child.
If a child is not on par with the rest of the class in terms of learning abilities, find out the reason. There is a high chance that his foundation has not been grounded well. Check the level your child is at currently and take necessary actions during extra classes. Address all learning issues as soon as possible. If you drag, it will be harder for the child to move on and hence, for you too. If you spend your time dissing the child for not being able to do his work without figuring out why, it is no wonder the child is not learning anything further. Therefore, save yourself and the child from some stress. Stop nagging and dissing but find a solution instead. Think positive! ;)
Tuesday, October 23, 2012
Monday, November 8, 2010
Hanging out at the void deck at the block right outside the school in Yishun, frantically trying to ride in the school car park, bringing unauthorised person into the studio, trips to fort canning and bukit chandu and all other places on the island, squirming after reading the 'racist' comments, walking on the wooden bridges and sitting by the window of a restaurant and enjoying the view while eating. Aaaahhh The good times. I wish I could turn back time when I was a student.
Thursday, September 3, 2009
Random
Been a while since i last updated this thing...
No time sey.
We had family iftar on the second Sunday of the fasting month.
The same place every year but the standard has gone down.
16 of us altogether.
The in-laws, the fiance and fiancee; and the girlfriends were there too.
FUN FUN FUN
After iftar we went to town and did more nonsense.
Ouh and then there is jalur gemilang on 31st August.
Finally wishes stopped getting into thin air.
I celebrate this day every year whispering well wishes into the air.
Stupidity.
Finally this year the wish had some weight.
Sofra. I missed eating at sofra and everything about it.
I went to SINGAPORE POLYTECHNIC last Thursday.
I'm currently waiting to get back there.
The moment i stepped into that school, I felt like I'm turning back in time.
I walked pass my studio and remembered how I got told off for bringing
an outsider into the studio.
'Who is this?' >'Ouh, my friend. from other course.'
'which course?' >'**Like shit**err...'
'U mean ur friend got no lecture now?' >friend left... (SO BUSTED)
I missed how I'd rush to the Moberly Block every Wednesday as soon as I
ended studio lessons at 12 noon.
Then I felt like going to bukit chandu.
Then i made my way down to Foodcourt 3.
And i remembered the spring chicken n the coleslaw burger.
And along the way to Foodcourt 3 i walked pass the void deck.
The void deck we used to play catching at. We'd run round the deck, we'd climb
up and down the table and the seats.
I missed those times. The times that were mine for just a very short while.
The times i wished was mine forever.
But we grow up and graduated from school.
And the good times were left behind.
We began to go through the hurdles of life trying to survive to the end.
Striving hard to survive.
I stopped looking forward to waking up the next day.
But rather, waking up sets me thinking 'I survived another day'
Alhamdulillah for the strength and patience that You grant me.
Dear Rabb, I live my days because of You.
No time sey.
We had family iftar on the second Sunday of the fasting month.
The same place every year but the standard has gone down.
16 of us altogether.
The in-laws, the fiance and fiancee; and the girlfriends were there too.
FUN FUN FUN
After iftar we went to town and did more nonsense.
Ouh and then there is jalur gemilang on 31st August.
Finally wishes stopped getting into thin air.
I celebrate this day every year whispering well wishes into the air.
Stupidity.
Finally this year the wish had some weight.
Sofra. I missed eating at sofra and everything about it.
I went to SINGAPORE POLYTECHNIC last Thursday.
I'm currently waiting to get back there.
The moment i stepped into that school, I felt like I'm turning back in time.
I walked pass my studio and remembered how I got told off for bringing
an outsider into the studio.
'Who is this?' >'Ouh, my friend. from other course.'
'which course?' >'**Like shit**err...'
'U mean ur friend got no lecture now?' >friend left... (SO BUSTED)
I missed how I'd rush to the Moberly Block every Wednesday as soon as I
ended studio lessons at 12 noon.
Then I felt like going to bukit chandu.
Then i made my way down to Foodcourt 3.
And i remembered the spring chicken n the coleslaw burger.
And along the way to Foodcourt 3 i walked pass the void deck.
The void deck we used to play catching at. We'd run round the deck, we'd climb
up and down the table and the seats.
I missed those times. The times that were mine for just a very short while.
The times i wished was mine forever.
But we grow up and graduated from school.
And the good times were left behind.
We began to go through the hurdles of life trying to survive to the end.
Striving hard to survive.
I stopped looking forward to waking up the next day.
But rather, waking up sets me thinking 'I survived another day'
Alhamdulillah for the strength and patience that You grant me.
Dear Rabb, I live my days because of You.
Thursday, July 2, 2009
Seoul Gardens
And so I made plans early morning with
my colleagues early morning to have
dinner at the hot mee soto stall.
Then i received the last minute call and
quickly changed my plans. Walaoweii
damn rushing lorr. Made bookings in a matter
of minutes. Luckily I got the place lorr.
Sweetheart and Siti accompanied me there.
Love you guys lorr.
We ate at Seoul Gardens at Bugis.
Sweetheart, Siti, Fadzilah(Joho), Izz(Joho) and myself
were there. We cam-whored and pigged out.
The kentut card reading session was damn hilarious lahhh....
Izz acted as if i've place a bomb inside it.
And Wany!!!! Walaoweii you damn obvious lorr.
Even Fadzilah could smell there was something going on and ran away
from the table... hahahha
So people, if you plan to rob a bank, Wany's not the one...
\hahahhahahahha... Siti was officially the camera crew. hahahha
Ouh after the mix of ingredients and wine; the dang thing still tasted
like tomyam. No change. Like wth.
my colleagues early morning to have
dinner at the hot mee soto stall.
Then i received the last minute call and
quickly changed my plans. Walaoweii
damn rushing lorr. Made bookings in a matter
of minutes. Luckily I got the place lorr.
Sweetheart and Siti accompanied me there.
Love you guys lorr.
We ate at Seoul Gardens at Bugis.
Sweetheart, Siti, Fadzilah(Joho), Izz(Joho) and myself
were there. We cam-whored and pigged out.
The kentut card reading session was damn hilarious lahhh....
Izz acted as if i've place a bomb inside it.
And Wany!!!! Walaoweii you damn obvious lorr.
Even Fadzilah could smell there was something going on and ran away
from the table... hahahha
So people, if you plan to rob a bank, Wany's not the one...
\hahahhahahahha... Siti was officially the camera crew. hahahha
Ouh after the mix of ingredients and wine; the dang thing still tasted
like tomyam. No change. Like wth.
Thursday, June 4, 2009
Update...
Got myself a new phone to cheer myself up.
I saved up my money for some effing thing
which i end up not doing so i HAD to use up that money
for something that would cheer me up.
Happy lorr.
Then there is this thing that keep bugging me all along.
But whatever lorr. Somehow I don't quite care.
Walaoweii...
Sometimes you know you can't get what you want;
So you just do what you are told.
See even if you don't do as you are told, you still
won't get it mahh...
So yoiu might as well right?
Sh*t lorr....
Ouh did I tell you that Zhang Dong Liang is downright adorable?
F. BIG F.
I saved up my money for some effing thing
which i end up not doing so i HAD to use up that money
for something that would cheer me up.
Happy lorr.
Then there is this thing that keep bugging me all along.
But whatever lorr. Somehow I don't quite care.
Walaoweii...
Sometimes you know you can't get what you want;
So you just do what you are told.
See even if you don't do as you are told, you still
won't get it mahh...
So yoiu might as well right?
Sh*t lorr....
Ouh did I tell you that Zhang Dong Liang is downright adorable?
F. BIG F.
Tuesday, April 14, 2009
I want to look up to you. Help me.
qwerty.
I want to be able to look up to you
as a respectable man.
As on that respects himself.
One that respects his family
by respecting himself.
One that respects the people around him.
qwerty.
I hate hearing about all the shits in you.
All the more see them.
I want to shut them when i hear them.
Because you worth much more.
I hate it when i see them smile at you
when all they do behind is trash you.
qwerty.
Don't you know?
Or do you pretend not to know?
I'll keep standing up for you.
But i can't stand for long.
But i will for as long as i can.
I want to be able to look up to you
as a respectable man.
As on that respects himself.
One that respects his family
by respecting himself.
One that respects the people around him.
qwerty.
I hate hearing about all the shits in you.
All the more see them.
I want to shut them when i hear them.
Because you worth much more.
I hate it when i see them smile at you
when all they do behind is trash you.
qwerty.
Don't you know?
Or do you pretend not to know?
I'll keep standing up for you.
But i can't stand for long.
But i will for as long as i can.
Tuesday, March 10, 2009
Reminiscence: Danish Zafran
I counted days to the day he was born.
Imagining how his smile would be.
How his laughter would have sounded like.
How his cries would be.
How it would feel like holding him in my arms.
And when that day finally comes, i never came.
I've always wanted to see him.
I wanted to see the look of the child that i had been waiting for.
Since the day he was born. I never got the chance.
I never knew how he looked like.
I never heard what he sounded like.
But i felt like i knew him.
By the name of Syeikh.
What they imagined he would grow up to be.
How they said he seldom cried.
How they tell me he'd always smile.
Then there was an sms i never get to read. Year 2006.
One i received but deleted by accident b4 reading.
Little did i know the sms was important as hell.
And till today i regretted not replying to the message that 'never got to me'.
Danish Zafran.
That was my only chance. My one and only chance to see him.
Once. Just once. And it would have stayed with me forever.
The one i've always hoped to see.
Now i'll never get to see.
That was the message telling me he was gone.
Gone forever. That message 'that never got to me'.
I missed it. Again.
Hence i've missed it. Forever now.
But recently, i got to see a video of him.
One that keeps repeating itself.
With that song.
That song: Ariq... Namamu terukir di hatiku;
dikau pengubat rindu di kala hati sendu;
Ariq... Kehadiranmu membawa makna
tapi mengapa hanya seketika.. oo..oo
That song.
The song.
Imagining how his smile would be.
How his laughter would have sounded like.
How his cries would be.
How it would feel like holding him in my arms.
And when that day finally comes, i never came.
I've always wanted to see him.
I wanted to see the look of the child that i had been waiting for.
Since the day he was born. I never got the chance.
I never knew how he looked like.
I never heard what he sounded like.
But i felt like i knew him.
By the name of Syeikh.
What they imagined he would grow up to be.
How they said he seldom cried.
How they tell me he'd always smile.
Then there was an sms i never get to read. Year 2006.
One i received but deleted by accident b4 reading.
Little did i know the sms was important as hell.
And till today i regretted not replying to the message that 'never got to me'.
Danish Zafran.
That was my only chance. My one and only chance to see him.
Once. Just once. And it would have stayed with me forever.
The one i've always hoped to see.
Now i'll never get to see.
That was the message telling me he was gone.
Gone forever. That message 'that never got to me'.
I missed it. Again.
Hence i've missed it. Forever now.
But recently, i got to see a video of him.
One that keeps repeating itself.
With that song.
That song: Ariq... Namamu terukir di hatiku;
dikau pengubat rindu di kala hati sendu;
Ariq... Kehadiranmu membawa makna
tapi mengapa hanya seketika.. oo..oo
That song.
The song.
Love and Loved.
Had exams on 07 March '09...
3 papers lah sey. Mustolah Hadith, Fiqh Munakahat and al-Quran. LoVeLy FiaNcE was having an event at Bukit Panjang Plaza.
Didn't get to attend because of exams. =(
But he was so sweet lah sey that day. Right after the event he walked through the rain rempuh hujan to fetch me at school. He reached an hour and a half earlier though. I was studying for my last paper on the 5th floor. So i didn't go downstairs to meet him. Luckily dad was there. I called dad to help get him some rice. Poor little thing is cold and hungry just because he wanted to fetch me. sweet right? kental kan bual pasal tunang sendiri... hahah
Then it was time for my last paper. Dad knocked on the window just as the paper was about to start. He asked me to come out of the class for a while. Rupenye nk pass nasi ayam penyet... hahaha... ler... i quickly finished the paper as i didn't want to leave LoVeLy FiaNce waiting for too long. I took half an hour to finish the whole paper... wakakakkakaka... Sounds quick. haha... Nk cepat punye pasal... Bantai... hehehhe
What to do... he was being sweet mah... so i must do something... InsyaAllah lah jawapan exam ku x merapek... hahahha But alhamdulillah the papers were not too bad. THANK YOU TO LoVeLy FiaNce FOR TAKING THE TIME TO TEACH ME FOR MY EXAMS =D
3 papers lah sey. Mustolah Hadith, Fiqh Munakahat and al-Quran. LoVeLy FiaNcE was having an event at Bukit Panjang Plaza.
Didn't get to attend because of exams. =(
But he was so sweet lah sey that day. Right after the event he walked through the rain rempuh hujan to fetch me at school. He reached an hour and a half earlier though. I was studying for my last paper on the 5th floor. So i didn't go downstairs to meet him. Luckily dad was there. I called dad to help get him some rice. Poor little thing is cold and hungry just because he wanted to fetch me. sweet right? kental kan bual pasal tunang sendiri... hahah
Then it was time for my last paper. Dad knocked on the window just as the paper was about to start. He asked me to come out of the class for a while. Rupenye nk pass nasi ayam penyet... hahaha... ler... i quickly finished the paper as i didn't want to leave LoVeLy FiaNce waiting for too long. I took half an hour to finish the whole paper... wakakakkakaka... Sounds quick. haha... Nk cepat punye pasal... Bantai... hehehhe
What to do... he was being sweet mah... so i must do something... InsyaAllah lah jawapan exam ku x merapek... hahahha But alhamdulillah the papers were not too bad. THANK YOU TO LoVeLy FiaNce FOR TAKING THE TIME TO TEACH ME FOR MY EXAMS =D
Monday, March 9, 2009
Wednesday, February 11, 2009
A Fantabulous Singer.
Whenever the term 'good singer' is mentioned,
this old friend never failed to come to mind.
Its as if the term 'good singer' co-exists with him.
It has been 4 years, in the 5th year now, and i am still searching for
a voice that could top his. Most people can sing
but its just not there. somehow or other...
Some puts in a lot of effort just to sing. Too much to be exact.
Product = Its sounds fake.
There is just a few blessed with a great voice n could sing effortlessly.
Sounds good anywhere... in the bath, on the toilet bowl, while day dreaming away...
It's a talent God blessed old friend with.
Heard from urs truly years back he got offered to sing
in m'sia though he's no artiste here.
no album nothing.
Somehow he comes from a family who doesn't encourage any hanky panky.
Almost a wasted chance but benefitted a lot from it i believe.
x tanam saham. Alhamdulillah.
But no doubt its a creditable voice.
I can't find a voice better than old friend's.
Not yet at least.
The way old friend sings makes any other sounds very much like an amatuer.
buat i kesian tgk org laen menyanyi.
Simply because he made it look so effortless; And yet, Product = Priceless
this old friend never failed to come to mind.
Its as if the term 'good singer' co-exists with him.
It has been 4 years, in the 5th year now, and i am still searching for
a voice that could top his. Most people can sing
but its just not there. somehow or other...
Some puts in a lot of effort just to sing. Too much to be exact.
Product = Its sounds fake.
There is just a few blessed with a great voice n could sing effortlessly.
Sounds good anywhere... in the bath, on the toilet bowl, while day dreaming away...
It's a talent God blessed old friend with.
Heard from urs truly years back he got offered to sing
in m'sia though he's no artiste here.
no album nothing.
Somehow he comes from a family who doesn't encourage any hanky panky.
Almost a wasted chance but benefitted a lot from it i believe.
x tanam saham. Alhamdulillah.
But no doubt its a creditable voice.
I can't find a voice better than old friend's.
Not yet at least.
The way old friend sings makes any other sounds very much like an amatuer.
buat i kesian tgk org laen menyanyi.
Simply because he made it look so effortless; And yet, Product = Priceless
Sunday, February 1, 2009
What to update eh?
haha... kk i update... actually i have nothing important to account to so i x update... hehehhe
went down to Town on Thursday with LoVeLy FiaNcE. He fetched me from work. sweet right? haha. We were so noisy inside the bus. I pretended to be a man and spoke to him like one. Then i treated him as my 'girlfriend'.
**With my man's voice**
Sodiqin(Her): Jom i ajak u pegi zoo
Sodiqin(Him): EEEEEE! Stop it lah Syg!!!!!!!!!!
Sodiqin(Her): Jom lah... I ajak u gi zoo k?
Sodiqin(Him) ran to the next seat. he refused to sit with me after that. hahahhaa
Sodiqin(Her): Jgnlah merajok... kk i bawak u pi jurong bird park k?
Sodiqin(Him) stuck out his leg to me and: abg tendang klua bus nk?
HAHAHhahahhahahhaha.... So funny lah sey. hahahha
This LoVeLy FiaNcE of mine can't stand bapsss. hahahhaha So cute.
Ate at Sakura. Waited for so long for the food to be served. For the first time Sakura's service pissed LoVeLy fiAnCe off. hahahha...
He had been complaining that he's hungry since inside the bus. And we had to wait for an hour plus for his cheese baked rice to be served. My pandan leaf chicken and white rice came after about after half an hour. So i let him have some of mine while waiting for his food. Honestly i think they forgot his order. After 20 mins, the waiter came...
Waiter: Can i check with u ur order?
SodiqinS: Yeah
Waiter: Hotplate beancurd, White rice, 2 ice water and orange juice.
Sodiqin(Him): No there's a lot more.
**Whispering**
Sodiqin(Him): Ape lg eh abg order?
Sodiqin(Her): Hmm pandan leaf chicken and cheese baked rice
Sodiqin(Him): Haha abeh abg step no there's a lot more. hahahhaha
Sodiqin(Her): Hahahhha
**Back to conversation with the waiter**
SodiqinS: Pandan leaf chicken and cheese baked rice
Waiter: Ouh. I'll check that. The cheese baked rice is on another receipt.
Sodiqin(Him): Make it quick. I'm hungry.
Waiter: Yes sir.
hahahahhahah. Honestly i think the waiter forgot about the cheese baked rice.
Otherwise why would he write the order for the same table on a separate receipt? Plus the couple next to us who arrived much later had his cheese baked rice served. Confirm lupe... hahahahhaa
after we ate we just jalan2 around far east plaza. Somehow or other we kept acting crazy that day. we went to this shop selling cartoon whatever-you-call-it. figurines? whatever lah eh... hahaha... So i was looking for this sexy figurines they always have. Then i showed him and said i like them. so he said he do too. hahahhahhaha
Sodiqin(Him): Abg pun suke
Sodiqin(Her): EEEEEEEEEE! nanti x bagi masok rumah baru tau!
Then we went to the next store.
Sodiqin(Her): Hah amek nih yg ade kepak.
Sodiqin(Him): EE xnk uh!
Sodiqin(Her): OUUUUUH!!!!!! Memilih! **Mencebikkan bibir**
hahahahhahah. It was damn fun lah sey! Then got this couple tot we were quarelling kot.
They were looking at us until we burst out laughing, then they walked off. hahahahaha. Relax lah bro... org nk bergurau pon xle. hahahha
dah tuh kite balik...
Now, I got to do my lesson plan. But i'm here updating my blog. hah.
P.S.: To that Prince of mine. I love you lah sey.
went down to Town on Thursday with LoVeLy FiaNcE. He fetched me from work. sweet right? haha. We were so noisy inside the bus. I pretended to be a man and spoke to him like one. Then i treated him as my 'girlfriend'.
**With my man's voice**
Sodiqin(Her): Jom i ajak u pegi zoo
Sodiqin(Him): EEEEEE! Stop it lah Syg!!!!!!!!!!
Sodiqin(Her): Jom lah... I ajak u gi zoo k?
Sodiqin(Him) ran to the next seat. he refused to sit with me after that. hahahhaa
Sodiqin(Her): Jgnlah merajok... kk i bawak u pi jurong bird park k?
Sodiqin(Him) stuck out his leg to me and: abg tendang klua bus nk?
HAHAHhahahhahahhaha.... So funny lah sey. hahahha
This LoVeLy FiaNcE of mine can't stand bapsss. hahahhaha So cute.
Ate at Sakura. Waited for so long for the food to be served. For the first time Sakura's service pissed LoVeLy fiAnCe off. hahahha...
He had been complaining that he's hungry since inside the bus. And we had to wait for an hour plus for his cheese baked rice to be served. My pandan leaf chicken and white rice came after about after half an hour. So i let him have some of mine while waiting for his food. Honestly i think they forgot his order. After 20 mins, the waiter came...
Waiter: Can i check with u ur order?
SodiqinS: Yeah
Waiter: Hotplate beancurd, White rice, 2 ice water and orange juice.
Sodiqin(Him): No there's a lot more.
**Whispering**
Sodiqin(Him): Ape lg eh abg order?
Sodiqin(Her): Hmm pandan leaf chicken and cheese baked rice
Sodiqin(Him): Haha abeh abg step no there's a lot more. hahahhaha
Sodiqin(Her): Hahahhha
**Back to conversation with the waiter**
SodiqinS: Pandan leaf chicken and cheese baked rice
Waiter: Ouh. I'll check that. The cheese baked rice is on another receipt.
Sodiqin(Him): Make it quick. I'm hungry.
Waiter: Yes sir.
hahahahhahah. Honestly i think the waiter forgot about the cheese baked rice.
Otherwise why would he write the order for the same table on a separate receipt? Plus the couple next to us who arrived much later had his cheese baked rice served. Confirm lupe... hahahahhaa
after we ate we just jalan2 around far east plaza. Somehow or other we kept acting crazy that day. we went to this shop selling cartoon whatever-you-call-it. figurines? whatever lah eh... hahaha... So i was looking for this sexy figurines they always have. Then i showed him and said i like them. so he said he do too. hahahhahhaha
Sodiqin(Him): Abg pun suke
Sodiqin(Her): EEEEEEEEEE! nanti x bagi masok rumah baru tau!
Then we went to the next store.
Sodiqin(Her): Hah amek nih yg ade kepak.
Sodiqin(Him): EE xnk uh!
Sodiqin(Her): OUUUUUH!!!!!! Memilih! **Mencebikkan bibir**
hahahahhahah. It was damn fun lah sey! Then got this couple tot we were quarelling kot.
They were looking at us until we burst out laughing, then they walked off. hahahahaha. Relax lah bro... org nk bergurau pon xle. hahahha
dah tuh kite balik...
Now, I got to do my lesson plan. But i'm here updating my blog. hah.
P.S.: To that Prince of mine. I love you lah sey.
Thursday, January 15, 2009
Alhamdulillah
I felt the chills since yesterday. Been sleeping without the fan.
covered myself up with the quilt. Been falling sick often lately.
Had 7 ulcers in my mouth and had night fever. Since Saturday 20 Dec 2008. I was finally fine on Thurs and Fri. I got the fever again Saturday night. Then i was fine again Sunday. Went out with LoVeLy FiaNce. Then i started coughfing. Got worse. Then i lost my voice. And class was starting.
Alhamdulillah instaed of 1Jan, class started on 5 Jan 2009. By then my voice was getting better. But the cough was still there. Then I got the fever again on Saturday night; Until Sunday. I was fine on the following Monday. But since that Monday, i felt like floating for a split second every once in a while. Today is Thursday. I got the fever again. Pretty bad. Shaking like crazy under my quilt. Then i slept. Received a call from LoVeLy FiaNce with some great news; Alhamdulillah. Felt slightly better. A bit of the fever is gone. Dad made me eat the panadol anyway. Tomorrow is another day. Its already Fri. I hope i'll pull through tomorrow. This Saturday, class is starting again. In year 2 =) Come on Iqin! Perjuangkan! Venue changed.Good. Now i no longer have to change buses =DD But scary... Tingkat 5 kt Madrasah Aljunied. 2.30pm - 10pm. Takot lah seyy... Tingkat 5... Ouh no! But insyaAllah things will be fine. ku nih dah lah lemah semangat. heh
covered myself up with the quilt. Been falling sick often lately.
Had 7 ulcers in my mouth and had night fever. Since Saturday 20 Dec 2008. I was finally fine on Thurs and Fri. I got the fever again Saturday night. Then i was fine again Sunday. Went out with LoVeLy FiaNce. Then i started coughfing. Got worse. Then i lost my voice. And class was starting.
Alhamdulillah instaed of 1Jan, class started on 5 Jan 2009. By then my voice was getting better. But the cough was still there. Then I got the fever again on Saturday night; Until Sunday. I was fine on the following Monday. But since that Monday, i felt like floating for a split second every once in a while. Today is Thursday. I got the fever again. Pretty bad. Shaking like crazy under my quilt. Then i slept. Received a call from LoVeLy FiaNce with some great news; Alhamdulillah. Felt slightly better. A bit of the fever is gone. Dad made me eat the panadol anyway. Tomorrow is another day. Its already Fri. I hope i'll pull through tomorrow. This Saturday, class is starting again. In year 2 =) Come on Iqin! Perjuangkan! Venue changed.Good. Now i no longer have to change buses =DD But scary... Tingkat 5 kt Madrasah Aljunied. 2.30pm - 10pm. Takot lah seyy... Tingkat 5... Ouh no! But insyaAllah things will be fine. ku nih dah lah lemah semangat. heh
Sunday, January 11, 2009
New Year
It's new year.
While people are excited and happy about facing this new year, there are others who are not
at all thrilled.
I'm one of those.
Happy about my job alhamdulillah. Better in the sense of self consciousness.
Kalo company dulu ajak pi club, ajak makan makanan x halal, lelaki pompuan bebas bergaul,
alhamdulillah tugas baru nih x mcm tuh. InsyaAllah x akan...
Dulu keje mmg gaji alhamdulillah. tp hati x sedap. asyik2 pakse pi clubbing. kate company gathering. konon nk merapatkan bond antare pekerja lah...
peduli hape aku... sorilah... x layan...
tp tahun baru nih mcm x best lah.
terpakse terime a few news yang x berape nk menyedapkan hati.
tp nk buat mcm mane kan...
hidop berkongsi...
telan je lah.
While people are excited and happy about facing this new year, there are others who are not
at all thrilled.
I'm one of those.
Happy about my job alhamdulillah. Better in the sense of self consciousness.
Kalo company dulu ajak pi club, ajak makan makanan x halal, lelaki pompuan bebas bergaul,
alhamdulillah tugas baru nih x mcm tuh. InsyaAllah x akan...
Dulu keje mmg gaji alhamdulillah. tp hati x sedap. asyik2 pakse pi clubbing. kate company gathering. konon nk merapatkan bond antare pekerja lah...
peduli hape aku... sorilah... x layan...
tp tahun baru nih mcm x best lah.
terpakse terime a few news yang x berape nk menyedapkan hati.
tp nk buat mcm mane kan...
hidop berkongsi...
telan je lah.
Wednesday, December 3, 2008
The Only
God is the only reason why I'm still going strong.
He said suicide is not the way. Never will be.
Hence... My living.
I'll live life like I have to.
All because i had too.
But thank you God for giving me time to regret my words.
Make me regret those words i just said.
Make me.
Please.
He said suicide is not the way. Never will be.
Hence... My living.
I'll live life like I have to.
All because i had too.
But thank you God for giving me time to regret my words.
Make me regret those words i just said.
Make me.
Please.
Tuesday, December 2, 2008
And more...
PARANOIA--THE WORD
Paranoia is a term used by mental health specialists to describe suspiciousness (or mistrust) that is either highly exaggerated or not warranted at all. The word is often used in everyday conversation, often in anger, often incorrectly. Simple suspiciousness is not paranoia--not if it is based on past experience or expectations learned from the experience of others.
Paranoia can be mild and the affected person may function fairly well in society, or it can be so severe that the individual is incapacitated. Because many psychiatric disorders are accompanied by some paranoid features, diagnosis is sometimes difficult. Paranoias can be classified into three main categories--paranoid personality disorder, delusional (paranoid) disorder, and paranoid schizophrenia.
**read the example senario below**
PARANOID PERSONALITY DISORDER
-- Derek worked in a large office as a computer programmer. When another programmer received a promotion, Derek felt that the supervisor "had it in for him" and would never recognize his worth. He was sure that his co-workers were subtly downgrading him. Often he watched as others took coffee breaks together and imagined they spent this time talking about him. If he saw a group of people laughing, he knew they were laughing at him. He spent so much time brooding about the mistreatment he received that his work suffered and his supervisor told him he must improve or receive a poor performance rating. This action reinforced all Derek's suspicions, and he looked for and found a position in another large company. After a few weeks on his new job, he began to feel that others in the office didn't like him, excluded him from all conversations, made fun of him behind his back, and eroded his position. Derek has changed jobs six times in the last seven years. Derek has paranoid personality disorder.
Some people regularly become suspicious without cause--so much so that their paranoid thoughts disrupt their work and family life. Such people are said to have a paranoid personality.
**Oh God**
**And the following**
They are:
1) SUSPICIOUS
An unmistakable sign of paranoia is continual mistrust. People with paranoid personality disorder are constantly on their guard because they see the world as a threatening place. They tend to confirm their expectations by latching on to any speck of evidence that supports their suspicions and ignore or misinterpret any evidence to the contrary. They are ever watchful and may look around for signs of a threat.
Anyone in a new situation--beginning a job or starting a relationship, for example--is cautious and somewhat guarded until he or she learns that the fears are groundless. People suffering from paranoia cannot abandon their fears. They continue to expect trickery and to doubt the loyalty of others. In a personal relationship or marriage, this suspiciousness may take the form of pathological, unrealistic jealousy.
**Oh God, truly**
**And yet again...**
2) HYPERSENSITIVE.
Because persons with paranoid personality disorder are hyperalert, they notice any slight and may take offense where none is intended. As a result, they tend to be defensive and antagonistic. When they are at fault, they cannot accept blame, not even mild criticism. Yet they are highly critical of others. Other people may say that these individuals make "mountains out of molehills."
**Now God, really**
**Right, No. 3 relates only to a certain extend. So can i safely say i'm not paranoid?**
3) COLD AND ALOOF.
In addition to being argumentative and uncompromising, the people with paranoid personality disorder are often emotionally cut off from other people. They appear cold and, in fact, often avoid becoming intimate with others. They pride themselves on their rationality and objectivity. People with a paranoid outlook on life rarely come to the attention of clinicians--it is not in their nature to seek help. Many presumably function competently in society. They may seek out social niches in which a moralistic and punitive style is acceptable, or at least tolerated to a certain degree.
**Is this hope?**
**You can don't read the rest of the post. The important part ends here.** :)
DELUSIONAL (PARANOID) DISORDER
Psychiatrists make a distinction between the milder paranoid personality disorder described above and the more debilitating delusional (paranoid) disorder. The hallmark of this disorder is the presence of a persistent, nonbizarre delusion without symptoms of any other mental disorder.
Delusions are firmly held beliefs that are untrue, not shared by others in the culture, and not easily modifiable. Five delusional themes are frequently seen in delusional disorder. In some individuals, more than one of them is present.
-- Ruth is a clerk typist who is efficient and helpful. Her employers and co-workers value her contribution to the office. But Ruth spends her evenings writing letters to State and Federal officials. She feels that God has opened her mind and given her the cure for cancer. She wants some leading treatment center to use her cure on all its patients so that the world can see she is right. Many of her letters go unanswered, or she receives noncommittal replies that only make her feel that no one understands that she can save all cancer patients if only given the chance. When one of her letters is answered by an employee of the official to whom she wrote, she is sure that the official is being deliberately kept unaware of her knowledge and power. Sometimes she despairs that the world will ever know how wonderful she is, but she doesn't give up. She just keeps writing. Ruth suffers from one of the delusional disorders, grandiose delusion.
The most common delusion in delusional disorder is that of persecution. While persons with paranoid personality might suspect their colleagues of joking at their expense, persons with delusional disorder may suspect others of participating in elaborate master plots to persecute them. They believe that they are being poisoned, drugged, spied upon, or are the targets of conspiracies to ruin their reputations or even to kill them. They sometimes engage in litigation in an attempt to redress imagined injustices.
Another theme seen frequently is that of delusional jealousy. Any sign--even a meaningless spot on clothing, or a short delay in arriving home--is summoned up as evidence that a spouse is being unfaithful.
Erotic delusions are based on the belief that one is romantically loved by another, usually someone of higher status or a well-known public figure. Individuals with erotic delusions often harass famous persons through numerous letters, telephone calls, visits, and stealthy surveillance.
Persons with grandiose delusions often feel that they have been endowed with special powers and that, if allowed to exercise these powers, they could cure diseases, banish poverty, ensure world peace,or perform other extraordinary feats.
Individuals with somatic delusions are convinced that there is something very wrong with their bodies--that they emit foul odors, have bugs crawling in or on their bodies, or are misshapen and ugly. Because of these delusions, they tend to avoid the society of other people and spend much time consulting physicians for their imagined condition.
Whether or not persons with delusional disorder are dangerous to others has not been systematically investigated, but clinical experience suggests that such persons are rarely homicidal. Delusional patients are commonly angry people, and thus they are perceived as threatening. In the rare instances when individuals with delusional disorder do become violent, their victims are usually people who unwittingly fit into their delusional scheme. The person in most danger from an individual with delusional disorder is a spouse or lover.
PARANOID SCHIZOPHRENIA
-- Steven had not liked high school very much and was glad to graduate and get a job. But when he realized he needed more education to reach his goals, he applied for admission into a nearby college. He rented a house with several other young men and did well in his studies. Near the end of his second year, Steven stopped eating with the others and ate only food directly out of a can so he could be sure it wasn't poisoned. When he crossed the campus, he tried to avoid girls as he felt they shot poisoned webs at him that encompassed his body like a giant spider web. When he began to feel that his housemates had put poisoned gas in his room, he dropped out of school and returned home. He cleaned up his room at home and put a lock on the door so his parents could not enter it and contaminate it. He bought a small electric hot plate and prepared all his own food. If his mother urged him to eat a meal with the family, he accused her of wanting to poison him. His parents finally were able to convince him to see a psychiatrist who diagnosed "schizophrenia, subtype paranoia." With medication, individual and group therapy, Steven has improved enough to work in an office under the supervision of an understanding and supportive employer.
Paranoid thinking and behavior are hallmarks of the form of schizophrenia called "paranoid schizophrenia." Individuals with paranoid schizophrenia commonly have extremely bizarre delusions or hallucinations, almost always on a specific theme. Sometimes they hear voices that others cannot hear or believe that their thoughts are being controlled or broadcast aloud. Also, their performance at home and on the job deteriorates, often with a much diminished degree of emotional expressiveness.
In contrast, people with relatively milder paranoid disorders may have such symptoms as delusions of persecution or delusional jealousy, but not the prominent hallucinations or impossible, bizarre delusions of paranoid schizophrenia. Those with milder paranoid disorders are customarily able to work, and their emotional expression and behavior are appropriate to their delusional belief. Apart from their delusions, their thinking remains clear and orderly. On the other hand, those with paranoid schizophrenia are often intellectually disorganized and confused.
CAUSES OF PARANOIA
Genetic Contribution
Little research has been done on the role of heredity in causing paranoia. Scientists have found that the families of paranoid patients do not have higher than normal rates of either schizophrenia or depression. However, there is some evidence that paranoid symptoms in schizophrenia may be genetically influenced. Some studies have shown that when one twin of a pair of identical twins with schizophrenia has paranoid symptoms, the other twin usually does also. And, recent research has suggested that paranoid disorders are significantly more common in relatives of persons with schizophrenia than in the general population. Whether paranoid disorder--or a predisposition to it--is inherited is not yet known.
Biochemistry
The discovery that psychosis (a state in which the individual is out of touch with reality) is treatable with antipsychotic drugs has led scientists to look for the origins of severe mental disorders in abnormal brain chemistry. The search has become very complex, as more and more of the chemical substances that carry messages from one nerve cell to another--the neurotransmitters--have been discovered. So far, no clear-cut answers have been found. As with the genetic studies, biochemical studies have not examined paranoia except as a subtype of schizophrenia. There is, however, limited evidence that paranoid schizophrenia is biochemically distinct from nonparanoid forms of the disorder.
Abuse of drugs such as amphetamines, cocaine, marijuana, PCP, LSD, or other stimulants or "psychedelic" compounds may lead to symptoms of paranoid thinking or behavior. Patients with major mental disorders like paranoid schizophrenia may have their symptoms become worse under the influence of these drugs. Scientists are studying the biochemical actions of such drugs to determine how they produce their behavioral effects. This may help us to learn more about the neurochemistry of paranoid disorders, which is poorly understood at this time.
Stress
Some scientists believe paranoia may be a reaction to high levels of life stress. Lending support to this opinion is the evidence that paranoia is more prevalent among immigrants, prisoners of war, and others undergoing severe stress. Sometimes, when thrust into a new and highly stressful situation, people suffer an acute form--called "acute paranoia"--in which delusions develop over a short period of time and last only a few months.
Some studies indicate that paranoia has become more prevalent in the twentieth century. The connection between stress and paranoia does not, of course, rule out other contributing factors. A genetic defect, a brain abnormality, an information-processing disability--or all three--could predispose a person to paranoia; stress may merely act as a trigger.
TREATMENT OF PARANOIA
Paranoid people's mistrustfulness makes treatment of the condition difficult. Rarely will they talk casually in an interview. They are suspicious of the kind of open-ended questions many therapists rely on to learn about the patient's history (for example, "Tell me about your relationships with your co-workers."). They may try to avoid hospitalization and drugs, fearing a loss of control or other real or imagined dangers.
Drug Treatment
Treatment with appropriate antipsychotic drugs may help the paranoid patient overcome some symptoms. Although the patient's functioning may be improved, the paranoid symptoms often remain intact. Some studies indicate that symptoms improve following drug treatment, but the same results sometimes occur among patients who receive a placebo, a "sugar pill" without active ingredients. This finding suggests that in some cases the paranoia diminishes for psychological reasons rather than because of the drug's action. Paranoid patients receiving medication must be closely monitored. Their fearfulness and persecutory delusions often lead them to refuse or sabotage treatment--for example, by holding the drug in their cheek until they are alone and then spitting it out.
Psychotherapy
Reports on individual cases suggest that the regular opportunity to express suspicions and self-doubts afforded by psychotherapy can help the paranoid patient function in the community. Although paranoid ideas do seem to persist, they may be less disruptive. Other types of psychotherapy that have reportedly led to improved social functioning without appreciably diminishing paranoid delusions are art therapy, family therapy, and group therapy.
OUTLOOK FOR PARANOID PATIENTS
In spite of the treatment difficulties, patients with a paranoid disorder may function quite well. Even though their paranoid views are apparently unshakable, various treatments appear effective in improving social functioning, so that they do not often require lengthy hospitalization. The symptoms are less bizarre than those associated with paranoid schizophrenia. Also, the paranoid disorders seem to cause less disorganization of the personality and disruptions in social and family life. Unlike schizophrenia, which can become progressively worse, paranoid disorder seems to reach a certain level of severity and stay there.
FOR FURTHER INFORMATION
Kendler, K.S.; Spitzer, R.L.; and Williams, J.B.W. Psychotic disorders in DSM-III-R. The American Journal of Psychiatry 146:953-962, 1989.
Munro, A. Delusional (paranoid) disorders. Canadian Journal of Psychiatry Vol. 33(5):399-404, 1988.
Opjordsmoen, S. Long-term course and outcome in delusional disorder. Acta Psychiatrica Scandinavica Vol. 78(5):576-586, 1988. Schizophrenia Bulletin Vol 7, No. 4, 1981 (available in most medical libraries).
Sorensen, D.J.; Paul, G.L.; and Mariotto, M.J. Inconsistencies in paranoid functioning, premorbid adjustment, and chronicity: Question of diagnostic criteria. Schizophrenia Bulletin Vol. 14(2):323-336, 1988.
Williams, J.G. Cognitive intervention for a paranoid personality disorder. Psychotherapy Vol. 25(4):570-575, 1988.
This booklet was produced by the National Institute of Mental Health (NIMH), the U.S. Government agency that supports and conducts research to improve the diagnosis, treatment, and prevention of mental illness. NIMH-supported studies alleviate suffering and bring hope to people who have a mental disorder, to those who are at risk of developing one, and to their families, friends and coworkers. Thus mental health research benefits millions of Americans and reduces the burden that mental disorders impose on society as a whole. NIMH is part of the National Institutes of Health, a component of the U.S. Department of Health and Human Services.
Director
National Institute of Mental Health
All material appearing in this volume is in the public domain and may be reproduced or copied without permission from the Institute. Citation of the source is appreciated.
Acknowledgments
This brochure was revised by Margaret Strock, staff member in the Office of Scientific Information, National Institute of Mental Health (NIMH). An earlier version was done under contract for NIMH by Wray Herbert. Expert assistance was provided by David Shore, M.D., David Pickar, M.D., and Darryl G. Kirch, M.D., NIMH staff members. Their help in assuring the accuracy of this pamphlet is gratefully acknowledged.
U.S. Department of Health and Human Services
Public Health Service
National Institutes of Health
National Institute of Mental Health
DHHS Publication No. (ADM) 89-1495
Printed 1987 -™ÌQ*ised 1989
Paranoia is a term used by mental health specialists to describe suspiciousness (or mistrust) that is either highly exaggerated or not warranted at all. The word is often used in everyday conversation, often in anger, often incorrectly. Simple suspiciousness is not paranoia--not if it is based on past experience or expectations learned from the experience of others.
Paranoia can be mild and the affected person may function fairly well in society, or it can be so severe that the individual is incapacitated. Because many psychiatric disorders are accompanied by some paranoid features, diagnosis is sometimes difficult. Paranoias can be classified into three main categories--paranoid personality disorder, delusional (paranoid) disorder, and paranoid schizophrenia.
**read the example senario below**
PARANOID PERSONALITY DISORDER
-- Derek worked in a large office as a computer programmer. When another programmer received a promotion, Derek felt that the supervisor "had it in for him" and would never recognize his worth. He was sure that his co-workers were subtly downgrading him. Often he watched as others took coffee breaks together and imagined they spent this time talking about him. If he saw a group of people laughing, he knew they were laughing at him. He spent so much time brooding about the mistreatment he received that his work suffered and his supervisor told him he must improve or receive a poor performance rating. This action reinforced all Derek's suspicions, and he looked for and found a position in another large company. After a few weeks on his new job, he began to feel that others in the office didn't like him, excluded him from all conversations, made fun of him behind his back, and eroded his position. Derek has changed jobs six times in the last seven years. Derek has paranoid personality disorder.
Some people regularly become suspicious without cause--so much so that their paranoid thoughts disrupt their work and family life. Such people are said to have a paranoid personality.
**Oh God**
**And the following**
They are:
1) SUSPICIOUS
An unmistakable sign of paranoia is continual mistrust. People with paranoid personality disorder are constantly on their guard because they see the world as a threatening place. They tend to confirm their expectations by latching on to any speck of evidence that supports their suspicions and ignore or misinterpret any evidence to the contrary. They are ever watchful and may look around for signs of a threat.
Anyone in a new situation--beginning a job or starting a relationship, for example--is cautious and somewhat guarded until he or she learns that the fears are groundless. People suffering from paranoia cannot abandon their fears. They continue to expect trickery and to doubt the loyalty of others. In a personal relationship or marriage, this suspiciousness may take the form of pathological, unrealistic jealousy.
**Oh God, truly**
**And yet again...**
2) HYPERSENSITIVE.
Because persons with paranoid personality disorder are hyperalert, they notice any slight and may take offense where none is intended. As a result, they tend to be defensive and antagonistic. When they are at fault, they cannot accept blame, not even mild criticism. Yet they are highly critical of others. Other people may say that these individuals make "mountains out of molehills."
**Now God, really**
**Right, No. 3 relates only to a certain extend. So can i safely say i'm not paranoid?**
3) COLD AND ALOOF.
In addition to being argumentative and uncompromising, the people with paranoid personality disorder are often emotionally cut off from other people. They appear cold and, in fact, often avoid becoming intimate with others. They pride themselves on their rationality and objectivity. People with a paranoid outlook on life rarely come to the attention of clinicians--it is not in their nature to seek help. Many presumably function competently in society. They may seek out social niches in which a moralistic and punitive style is acceptable, or at least tolerated to a certain degree.
**Is this hope?**
**You can don't read the rest of the post. The important part ends here.** :)
DELUSIONAL (PARANOID) DISORDER
Psychiatrists make a distinction between the milder paranoid personality disorder described above and the more debilitating delusional (paranoid) disorder. The hallmark of this disorder is the presence of a persistent, nonbizarre delusion without symptoms of any other mental disorder.
Delusions are firmly held beliefs that are untrue, not shared by others in the culture, and not easily modifiable. Five delusional themes are frequently seen in delusional disorder. In some individuals, more than one of them is present.
-- Ruth is a clerk typist who is efficient and helpful. Her employers and co-workers value her contribution to the office. But Ruth spends her evenings writing letters to State and Federal officials. She feels that God has opened her mind and given her the cure for cancer. She wants some leading treatment center to use her cure on all its patients so that the world can see she is right. Many of her letters go unanswered, or she receives noncommittal replies that only make her feel that no one understands that she can save all cancer patients if only given the chance. When one of her letters is answered by an employee of the official to whom she wrote, she is sure that the official is being deliberately kept unaware of her knowledge and power. Sometimes she despairs that the world will ever know how wonderful she is, but she doesn't give up. She just keeps writing. Ruth suffers from one of the delusional disorders, grandiose delusion.
The most common delusion in delusional disorder is that of persecution. While persons with paranoid personality might suspect their colleagues of joking at their expense, persons with delusional disorder may suspect others of participating in elaborate master plots to persecute them. They believe that they are being poisoned, drugged, spied upon, or are the targets of conspiracies to ruin their reputations or even to kill them. They sometimes engage in litigation in an attempt to redress imagined injustices.
Another theme seen frequently is that of delusional jealousy. Any sign--even a meaningless spot on clothing, or a short delay in arriving home--is summoned up as evidence that a spouse is being unfaithful.
Erotic delusions are based on the belief that one is romantically loved by another, usually someone of higher status or a well-known public figure. Individuals with erotic delusions often harass famous persons through numerous letters, telephone calls, visits, and stealthy surveillance.
Persons with grandiose delusions often feel that they have been endowed with special powers and that, if allowed to exercise these powers, they could cure diseases, banish poverty, ensure world peace,or perform other extraordinary feats.
Individuals with somatic delusions are convinced that there is something very wrong with their bodies--that they emit foul odors, have bugs crawling in or on their bodies, or are misshapen and ugly. Because of these delusions, they tend to avoid the society of other people and spend much time consulting physicians for their imagined condition.
Whether or not persons with delusional disorder are dangerous to others has not been systematically investigated, but clinical experience suggests that such persons are rarely homicidal. Delusional patients are commonly angry people, and thus they are perceived as threatening. In the rare instances when individuals with delusional disorder do become violent, their victims are usually people who unwittingly fit into their delusional scheme. The person in most danger from an individual with delusional disorder is a spouse or lover.
PARANOID SCHIZOPHRENIA
-- Steven had not liked high school very much and was glad to graduate and get a job. But when he realized he needed more education to reach his goals, he applied for admission into a nearby college. He rented a house with several other young men and did well in his studies. Near the end of his second year, Steven stopped eating with the others and ate only food directly out of a can so he could be sure it wasn't poisoned. When he crossed the campus, he tried to avoid girls as he felt they shot poisoned webs at him that encompassed his body like a giant spider web. When he began to feel that his housemates had put poisoned gas in his room, he dropped out of school and returned home. He cleaned up his room at home and put a lock on the door so his parents could not enter it and contaminate it. He bought a small electric hot plate and prepared all his own food. If his mother urged him to eat a meal with the family, he accused her of wanting to poison him. His parents finally were able to convince him to see a psychiatrist who diagnosed "schizophrenia, subtype paranoia." With medication, individual and group therapy, Steven has improved enough to work in an office under the supervision of an understanding and supportive employer.
Paranoid thinking and behavior are hallmarks of the form of schizophrenia called "paranoid schizophrenia." Individuals with paranoid schizophrenia commonly have extremely bizarre delusions or hallucinations, almost always on a specific theme. Sometimes they hear voices that others cannot hear or believe that their thoughts are being controlled or broadcast aloud. Also, their performance at home and on the job deteriorates, often with a much diminished degree of emotional expressiveness.
In contrast, people with relatively milder paranoid disorders may have such symptoms as delusions of persecution or delusional jealousy, but not the prominent hallucinations or impossible, bizarre delusions of paranoid schizophrenia. Those with milder paranoid disorders are customarily able to work, and their emotional expression and behavior are appropriate to their delusional belief. Apart from their delusions, their thinking remains clear and orderly. On the other hand, those with paranoid schizophrenia are often intellectually disorganized and confused.
CAUSES OF PARANOIA
Genetic Contribution
Little research has been done on the role of heredity in causing paranoia. Scientists have found that the families of paranoid patients do not have higher than normal rates of either schizophrenia or depression. However, there is some evidence that paranoid symptoms in schizophrenia may be genetically influenced. Some studies have shown that when one twin of a pair of identical twins with schizophrenia has paranoid symptoms, the other twin usually does also. And, recent research has suggested that paranoid disorders are significantly more common in relatives of persons with schizophrenia than in the general population. Whether paranoid disorder--or a predisposition to it--is inherited is not yet known.
Biochemistry
The discovery that psychosis (a state in which the individual is out of touch with reality) is treatable with antipsychotic drugs has led scientists to look for the origins of severe mental disorders in abnormal brain chemistry. The search has become very complex, as more and more of the chemical substances that carry messages from one nerve cell to another--the neurotransmitters--have been discovered. So far, no clear-cut answers have been found. As with the genetic studies, biochemical studies have not examined paranoia except as a subtype of schizophrenia. There is, however, limited evidence that paranoid schizophrenia is biochemically distinct from nonparanoid forms of the disorder.
Abuse of drugs such as amphetamines, cocaine, marijuana, PCP, LSD, or other stimulants or "psychedelic" compounds may lead to symptoms of paranoid thinking or behavior. Patients with major mental disorders like paranoid schizophrenia may have their symptoms become worse under the influence of these drugs. Scientists are studying the biochemical actions of such drugs to determine how they produce their behavioral effects. This may help us to learn more about the neurochemistry of paranoid disorders, which is poorly understood at this time.
Stress
Some scientists believe paranoia may be a reaction to high levels of life stress. Lending support to this opinion is the evidence that paranoia is more prevalent among immigrants, prisoners of war, and others undergoing severe stress. Sometimes, when thrust into a new and highly stressful situation, people suffer an acute form--called "acute paranoia"--in which delusions develop over a short period of time and last only a few months.
Some studies indicate that paranoia has become more prevalent in the twentieth century. The connection between stress and paranoia does not, of course, rule out other contributing factors. A genetic defect, a brain abnormality, an information-processing disability--or all three--could predispose a person to paranoia; stress may merely act as a trigger.
TREATMENT OF PARANOIA
Paranoid people's mistrustfulness makes treatment of the condition difficult. Rarely will they talk casually in an interview. They are suspicious of the kind of open-ended questions many therapists rely on to learn about the patient's history (for example, "Tell me about your relationships with your co-workers."). They may try to avoid hospitalization and drugs, fearing a loss of control or other real or imagined dangers.
Drug Treatment
Treatment with appropriate antipsychotic drugs may help the paranoid patient overcome some symptoms. Although the patient's functioning may be improved, the paranoid symptoms often remain intact. Some studies indicate that symptoms improve following drug treatment, but the same results sometimes occur among patients who receive a placebo, a "sugar pill" without active ingredients. This finding suggests that in some cases the paranoia diminishes for psychological reasons rather than because of the drug's action. Paranoid patients receiving medication must be closely monitored. Their fearfulness and persecutory delusions often lead them to refuse or sabotage treatment--for example, by holding the drug in their cheek until they are alone and then spitting it out.
Psychotherapy
Reports on individual cases suggest that the regular opportunity to express suspicions and self-doubts afforded by psychotherapy can help the paranoid patient function in the community. Although paranoid ideas do seem to persist, they may be less disruptive. Other types of psychotherapy that have reportedly led to improved social functioning without appreciably diminishing paranoid delusions are art therapy, family therapy, and group therapy.
OUTLOOK FOR PARANOID PATIENTS
In spite of the treatment difficulties, patients with a paranoid disorder may function quite well. Even though their paranoid views are apparently unshakable, various treatments appear effective in improving social functioning, so that they do not often require lengthy hospitalization. The symptoms are less bizarre than those associated with paranoid schizophrenia. Also, the paranoid disorders seem to cause less disorganization of the personality and disruptions in social and family life. Unlike schizophrenia, which can become progressively worse, paranoid disorder seems to reach a certain level of severity and stay there.
FOR FURTHER INFORMATION
Kendler, K.S.; Spitzer, R.L.; and Williams, J.B.W. Psychotic disorders in DSM-III-R. The American Journal of Psychiatry 146:953-962, 1989.
Munro, A. Delusional (paranoid) disorders. Canadian Journal of Psychiatry Vol. 33(5):399-404, 1988.
Opjordsmoen, S. Long-term course and outcome in delusional disorder. Acta Psychiatrica Scandinavica Vol. 78(5):576-586, 1988. Schizophrenia Bulletin Vol 7, No. 4, 1981 (available in most medical libraries).
Sorensen, D.J.; Paul, G.L.; and Mariotto, M.J. Inconsistencies in paranoid functioning, premorbid adjustment, and chronicity: Question of diagnostic criteria. Schizophrenia Bulletin Vol. 14(2):323-336, 1988.
Williams, J.G. Cognitive intervention for a paranoid personality disorder. Psychotherapy Vol. 25(4):570-575, 1988.
This booklet was produced by the National Institute of Mental Health (NIMH), the U.S. Government agency that supports and conducts research to improve the diagnosis, treatment, and prevention of mental illness. NIMH-supported studies alleviate suffering and bring hope to people who have a mental disorder, to those who are at risk of developing one, and to their families, friends and coworkers. Thus mental health research benefits millions of Americans and reduces the burden that mental disorders impose on society as a whole. NIMH is part of the National Institutes of Health, a component of the U.S. Department of Health and Human Services.
Director
National Institute of Mental Health
All material appearing in this volume is in the public domain and may be reproduced or copied without permission from the Institute. Citation of the source is appreciated.
Acknowledgments
This brochure was revised by Margaret Strock, staff member in the Office of Scientific Information, National Institute of Mental Health (NIMH). An earlier version was done under contract for NIMH by Wray Herbert. Expert assistance was provided by David Shore, M.D., David Pickar, M.D., and Darryl G. Kirch, M.D., NIMH staff members. Their help in assuring the accuracy of this pamphlet is gratefully acknowledged.
U.S. Department of Health and Human Services
Public Health Service
National Institutes of Health
National Institute of Mental Health
DHHS Publication No. (ADM) 89-1495
Printed 1987 -™ÌQ*ised 1989
erk
Paranoia is a disturbed thought process characterized by excessive anxiety or fear, often to the point of irrationality and delusion. Paranoid thinking typically includes persecutory beliefs concerning a perceived threat towards oneself. In the original Greek, παράνοια (paranoia) simply means madness (para = outside; nous = mind). Historically, this characterization was used to describe any delusional state.
Sometimes in common usage, the term paranoia is misused to describe a phobia. For example, a person may not want to fly out of fear the plane may crash. This does not in itself indicate paranoia, but rather a phobia. The lack of blame in this case usually points to the latter. An example of paranoia, however, would be fear that the pilot is an alcoholic with no evidence to suggest such, and would crash the plane as a result of this.
A November 2008 study by Cambridge alumnus Dr. Daniel Freeman, Ph.D., D.Cl.Psy., of the Institute of Psychiatry at the hospital of King's College, London, suggests that paranoia is much more widely experienced- by about 1 in 5 Londoners. (wikipedia)
Oh God.
Sometimes in common usage, the term paranoia is misused to describe a phobia. For example, a person may not want to fly out of fear the plane may crash. This does not in itself indicate paranoia, but rather a phobia. The lack of blame in this case usually points to the latter. An example of paranoia, however, would be fear that the pilot is an alcoholic with no evidence to suggest such, and would crash the plane as a result of this.
A November 2008 study by Cambridge alumnus Dr. Daniel Freeman, Ph.D., D.Cl.Psy., of the Institute of Psychiatry at the hospital of King's College, London, suggests that paranoia is much more widely experienced- by about 1 in 5 Londoners. (wikipedia)
Oh God.
Monday, December 1, 2008
Sunday, November 30, 2008
hmm...
Well, let's see.
Its good when you know for yourself
that you are so ready to be with someone
that you simply wouldn't budge.
Hmm... This is a perfect practice for us =D
Just the thing we need to spice up our relationship
even more :)
Well, to tell you the truth, whatever happens before
would be the most stupid reason i have to leave him.
Really.
Anyone can come to me now to say you **hanky-pankied** with him before
donkey years ago and i wouldn't even care.
hehehehehe
But i doubt an outsider would tell me. Although . . .(kompom sume curious nak tau what '. . .' means kan...hahahahha saje nak tambah rempah... jeng jeng jeng)
Because its not just his reputation, it'll be her own reputation too.
**wink**
Even if that happened before, so what?
It'll all be in the past. Past. PAST.
And anyway, one do not hang on to things for too long.
**GET OVER IT ALREADY LAHHH**
We all have such experinces before. but we move on.
We always do. As if only you have ever been in a relationship lorr...
But i kinda miss these things to be honest.
These things about people poking their noses into your relationship.
ITS SO LAST SEASON.
Secondary-ish...
Teenager-ish...
It makes me feel young once again! =D hehehhe
Thank God, I never felt this good (well, besides the day i got engaged that is). :)
These things happened only during the secondary school days.
Those were the days when not only schoolmates would want to know things,
even the teachers would want to be updated.
I never expected this would still happen today when i thought we would have outgrown
that era. But its good spices. Keep it going.
It happened to just make our relationship stronger.
Something nice to laugh about :)
I'm not surprised if the story gets much worse than this.
People will go to any extent to get your relationship off.
But you see, it's an old trick.
It has been used since forever.
You are talking to someone who lived after she died.
But really.
Thank you so much for making this relationship too interesting
for us to resist. =D
Its good when you know for yourself
that you are so ready to be with someone
that you simply wouldn't budge.
Hmm... This is a perfect practice for us =D
Just the thing we need to spice up our relationship
even more :)
Well, to tell you the truth, whatever happens before
would be the most stupid reason i have to leave him.
Really.
Anyone can come to me now to say you **hanky-pankied** with him before
donkey years ago and i wouldn't even care.
hehehehehe
But i doubt an outsider would tell me. Although . . .(kompom sume curious nak tau what '. . .' means kan...hahahahha saje nak tambah rempah... jeng jeng jeng)
Because its not just his reputation, it'll be her own reputation too.
**wink**
Even if that happened before, so what?
It'll all be in the past. Past. PAST.
And anyway, one do not hang on to things for too long.
**GET OVER IT ALREADY LAHHH**
We all have such experinces before. but we move on.
We always do. As if only you have ever been in a relationship lorr...
But i kinda miss these things to be honest.
These things about people poking their noses into your relationship.
ITS SO LAST SEASON.
Secondary-ish...
Teenager-ish...
It makes me feel young once again! =D hehehhe
Thank God, I never felt this good (well, besides the day i got engaged that is). :)
These things happened only during the secondary school days.
Those were the days when not only schoolmates would want to know things,
even the teachers would want to be updated.
I never expected this would still happen today when i thought we would have outgrown
that era. But its good spices. Keep it going.
It happened to just make our relationship stronger.
Something nice to laugh about :)
I'm not surprised if the story gets much worse than this.
People will go to any extent to get your relationship off.
But you see, it's an old trick.
It has been used since forever.
You are talking to someone who lived after she died.
But really.
Thank you so much for making this relationship too interesting
for us to resist. =D
Saturday, November 29, 2008
Hmm... Favourite photos...
finally got internet at home...
So now can happily post! =D
Photos for 2008...
x lama dah 2009 kan kan kan...
nih gamba belen2 tahun nih lah kire...
finally got internet at home...
So now can happily post! =D
Photos for 2008...
x lama dah 2009 kan kan kan...
nih gamba belen2 tahun nih lah kire...
Kami di Hari Raye... Keluargaku <3<3<3
Me and LOveLy FiaNce... Sweet kan sedondon... hehe **wink2 to mummy**
Tgk lah sape pilihkan kain... Tahun depan nk colour ape eh love? **tweet2**
Sunday, November 23, 2008
You are missed.
Detik yang hilang,
Mana mungkin ia kembali
Perjalanan terus tiada terhenti
Siang dan malam silih berganti
Detik yang hilang,
Ia menyaksikan beribu rasa
Merai gembira
Berkongsi duka
Detik yang hilang,
Itulah detik yang kian hilang
Teringin bersua namun...
While listening to the radio I just felt like blogging. About things.
Whhatever lah... dot dot dot... and then last nite sweet FiaNce came over
to finish teaching me for my exam. Last 2 papers for this year.
Usul Fiqh and Bahasa Arab. Can't wait for holidays. FiaNce teach very fierce lorr...
hahahhahahha...But good lahh. Otherwise I'll keep fooling around. hehehehhe
Moreover he was tired from work. So lagi fierce lorr... hehehehhe
But thank you for the effort you made, Love. =D
those notes.Thank you so much =*
Mana mungkin ia kembali
Perjalanan terus tiada terhenti
Siang dan malam silih berganti
Detik yang hilang,
Ia menyaksikan beribu rasa
Merai gembira
Berkongsi duka
Detik yang hilang,
Itulah detik yang kian hilang
Teringin bersua namun...
While listening to the radio I just felt like blogging. About things.
Whhatever lah... dot dot dot... and then last nite sweet FiaNce came over
to finish teaching me for my exam. Last 2 papers for this year.
Usul Fiqh and Bahasa Arab. Can't wait for holidays. FiaNce teach very fierce lorr...
hahahhahahha...But good lahh. Otherwise I'll keep fooling around. hehehehhe
Moreover he was tired from work. So lagi fierce lorr... hehehehhe
But thank you for the effort you made, Love. =D
those notes.Thank you so much =*
Thursday, November 20, 2008
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)
RSS Feed (xml)