Wednesday and Today

And he said ‘I love you’ – 12:04pm

I didn’t get to update on Wednesday due to not getting the internet connection. So let me first update about Wednesday. 8pm and we were at Swensens, Thomson Plaza waiting for Lovely Fiancé’s family. There three occasions as to why we were there:
1- My brother, Muhammad Sdadiq’s, Birthday
2- Lovely Fiancé’s third sister, Nur Faezah’s, Birthday
3- Farewell for Lovely Fiancé’s second Sister, Nur Suriani.
We had a great dinner with so much smiles and laughter J
Then Lovely Fiancé drove us home before driving his home.

Now, let’s talk about today. No no. What I’m thinking and feeling now to be exact.
All I ever hoped for is a simple life; A sweet, simple lifestyle.
Waking up early dawn for dawn prayers with dearest husband. Making coffee for dearest while he has his morning bath and preparing to go to work. Watch him off to work at 8.30am and expecting his return at 6.30 in the evening. Meanwhile, I’ll be home doing all the chores like all mothers do. Cooking for dearest husband and counting the seconds he’ll be back home flushed and hungry. And everyday is a routine.

I’ve always hoped for a man with the nine-to-five job. Something like an office worker; Just a normal office worker. I hated celebrity lifestyle for as long as I’ve known. That’s the reason why I’ve never bothered about what they artiste do, say or what other’s say about them. I can’t even be bothered to memorise all their names or learn about what achievements they ever made; What more, be in the limelight like them. Why? Because then, everyone starts to make an ‘F’ing big fuss about every single Sh*t that we do. And I hate that.

Sadly (I do not know why I’m using the word ‘sadly’ because I don’t think it’s a sad thing), I’m not one with a great ambition. I’m not one hoping to be a millionaire some day. I’ve never dreamt of having millions for me to spend. In fact, I’ve never even thought about it. So, if you are looking for a successful career woman with great ambitions of wanting to lead a glamorous, filthy rich life; you have found the wrong woman of your life. It’s about time you find someone else.

But if you still choose to live with me, and sticking to your ambition, then, I’d stay. I’d just do everything as a responsibility. And when the world knows you someday, I’m not going to have anything to do with it. I’ll cheer for you when you are alone with me. I’d cheer for you from home whenever I see or hear news of you. But I’ll never show the world that I exist in your life. It’s what you want, and I’ll support you in what you are doing. I’ll pray for your success. But I just don’t want anyone else to bother our life. But when this happens, they’ll bother your life but I’ll never let them bother mine. Hence, I wouldn’t show the world that I’m yours. Please dear, when you become famous someday, you don’t have to introduce me into your world of celeb. I don’t want to be known. I just want to lead a quiet, simple life. Every time you do something, all you have to know is that you have a wife supporting you back home. When I’m never out there in physical with you, please don’t feel that I’m not happy for you. I’ll be. I just never want to be in your limelight.

All I want is a sweet, simple and quiet life. It doesn’t matter if everyday is a routine without anything new or exiting. Only then, everyday and every moment with you would be a sweet one. But if I’m not getting this, then I’ll just be happy for you. It seems that it’s not going to happen. I know you have a great ambition. Your definition of successful is getting all the money in the world and able to provide me with everything that I want but my definition of successful is achieving the bittersweet life for my family. I know you are capable of getting a lot of money with your hardworking and ambitious attitude. With this, you have reached half of the success that you want. But able to provide me with what I want? I know will be able to buy me what I want; but what about those things that money can’t buy? If you can’t provide me with those, is that success for you? If I’m able to make you happy with the homely affairs, that’s success for me. But if you want me to be as ambitious and *successful (*Successful in your terms) as you are, then I’ll fail. I’ll fail even without trying because I’ll never even want to try. But then again, it’s okay. I’d just smile when I see you smile. I’ll show you I’m happy whenever you are. And I’d comfort you when I see you down. It’s okay if I don’t get what I hope for. It’s okay not to achieve my dreams. It’s said that a relationship needs sacrifices. So who cares what I feel. And you don’t have to. P.S I love you.